I just spent 45 minutes succinctly trying to tell you what the hell is going on with me only the have internet crash on me and have wordpress not auto save any of the damn post.

The only thing worse than going through this is writing it all out-because then it’s for real.  The only thing worse than that is going through this, then writing it out, only to have it deleted so that you have to write it out, all the fuck over again!

And now the crib notes version because I have to run-

1. Ive been MIA the past 2 weeks because I am freaking out because I have a HORRIBLE feeling about what we are going to find out from the AFP triple screen and the Anatomy Scan on the 24th so I have been staying away from blog world and keeping busy and mostly making pretend I’m not pregnant.

2. It didn’t help keep the bad away, turns out my horrible feeling was spot on my OB called me yesterday (yes that’s right her, not her nurse) to inform me that my results of the AFP came back and that I screened positive for a Neural Tube Defect.

3. Now I’m truly freaked the fuck out as there are really only 2 reasons for elevated AFP and that is a baby with a neural tube defect or a placenta that is damaged and thus allowing AFP to leak out at abnormal levels.  AWESOME.

4. Current plan-OB wants to do another blood draw and test me again to make sure the levels are indeed high.  We have an appointment with her on Monday and although not scheduled, we will not leave without an ultrasound to make sure baby is the right size, the amniotic fluid levels are ok, to check on the uterine and placental blood flow as well as to see if there are any visible signs of a NTD.

5. And then we can decide if we need an emergency appointment with the MFM ,who I despise, in boston.

So there you have it.  Not the post I wanted to write and certainly not the post you wanted to read.  But hey, what the hell did you expect with my history??