Yeah I bet you thought I was all done with this.  Not so much.  However as of today-I am.

I have no more FRER’s, no more Detect 5’s and the internet cheapies are so not impressive that I get no assurance by peeing on them.  Actually-that is the problem with being more than just a little bit pregnant-you can’t really use things you pee on as an indication of how things are going once the test and control lines are close to the same color.

This week totally blows-no betas, no ultrasounds, nothing to pee on, nothing to help keep me from thinking the worst-and actually next week-I have to wait all the way until THURSDAY to get another look at what’s going on in my UOD.

2 whole weeks with out any checks and balances.

A lot of shit can happen in 2 weeks.  I try not to think about the times I was sent home to “grow” Ava for 2 weeks (on 2 separate occasions) only to have there be not good news when we returned.  I need there to be good news next week.  I need my world to not come crashing down on me just before Christmas-exactly as it has the past 2 years.

Please let me FINALLY be able to tell my dad when he comes over for Christmas Eve that I’m 9 weeks and 2 days pregnant with his first grandchild- (and that everything this time looks as it should be).  Yes that’s right the entire effing world knows I’m pregnant on the internets, my husbands family, his coworkers, his friends, my friends, my boss-but not my dad-not anyone in my family for that matter.

Please don’t let me be high on xanax and chuggin wine like water on Christmas like last year, or waiting for impending doom like the year before.  Anyone who has experienced that hell once, should not EVER have to repeat it, never mind a 3-peat.

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