Far along: Thursday December 1, 2011 6 weeks

Food aversions: None!

Food indulgences: Just the normal stuff, only seem to be hungry every 2-3 hours and sometimes all the damn time!

Doctors appointments: 3 hCG beta blood draws and my first look at you via Ultrasound on Friday December 2, 2011.  I’ve never cried so hard and uncontrollably in my life-ever.

Most memorable moment: Seeing your heartbeat.

Most anxious moments:  This week I had to finally pick an OB so that we could stay on track with monitoring (if you decide to stick around) so I had to  call to schedule our first prenatal appointments which immediately sparked panic induced sweating as the nurse congratulated me on my potential impending miscarriage pregnancy (omg save that for 34 more weeks!), and had me completely broken out in hives by the end of the phone conversation.

I realized that nurses and doctors are going to try to treat me like I’m normal so I will be forced to have to say things like…”wouldn’t it be wise to schedule the 9 week ultrasound PRIOR to the 90 minute paperwork and blood draw appointment to confirm that there is actually a live fetus in my uterus before we waste everyone’s time processing all of this information to put me in the system?”…only to then have them realize I’m damaged and have them say “Ohh, ah yes, I guess given your history that might be the best thing to do.”

In addition to that wonderful conversation, you have also kept me on pins and needles all week by continuing with the spotting and low and slow rising beta non sense.  Wish you would cut that stuff out lil buddy-your momma is freaked out enough just being pregnant with you, the rest of this stuff is only making the idea of you coming home with me from the hospital (all nice and healthy in July) completely outlandish!

Things purchased for the baby: DHA/EPA and Vitamin D3-again supplements that I waited until the very last minute to re-stock on to make sure that I was still pregnant before buying big bottles of these things.

I have also started a keepsake bracelet for you-that will have little charms marking your journey to birth that I will add to this bracelet:

This week I will add this “journey” charm to mark all that we have gone through thus far on our journey that has brought us to you:

And this one which reminds me of how you looked when I first got to meet you on November 3rd as a little Fiscablast (that we knew was a boy) with all those little round swirly twirly areas inside of you:

Both of those beads as well as this bracelet are now stashed in the freezer-which of course is where you put everything that scares the hell out of you for safe keeping.

I hope to one day be able to give this bracelet to you and tell you what each one means rather than tuck it away in a memory box some where…and yes I just used the word hope-lord help me!

Milestones: Gestational Sac!  Baby in the sac!  Heartbeat!!! Measuring perfectly!!