The Good:

Clearly I can get pregnant.  Not only can I get pregnant with IVF, I can also get pregnant with just 1 egg and doing an intrauterine insemination and I can also get pregnant by plain old fashioned sex.

The Bad:

Not a single one of my pregnancies end in the normal 40 weeks with a healthy take home baby.  And because I am currently pregnant-I can’t take these tubes to a lab and have my blood drawn for the Immunologic Work up I told you about (here).  I have to WAIT.  Yet another non take home baby pregnancy forcing a delay in game for us.

The Ugly:

Some of my pregnancies act as if they might possibly be healthy and normal-jerking on my heart strings and making me think well maybe it could be ok…with slightly rising betas, but instead of rising like a healthy pregnancy would-they rise just a little-enough in which to have me on a 48 hour beta blood test schedule because my doctor thinks one of the blasts might have ended up in one of my tubes-and well baby jesus-who would blame it?? I am sure that little thing took one look at the slaughtering of its sibling by my uterus of death and it fucking high tailed it right on out of there in search of a much less hostile place to call home.

And now for another installment of….

Things I’ve Peed On

And of course-as expected, because nothing can ever be simple for me-my beta is still rising s.l.o.w.l.y.  Which of course will have all of the doctors running around making my life hell because they think I have an ectopic pregnancy-which in their minds is the ONLY thing that could be causing a low and slow rising beta-not my uterus of death-because-why would that ever be an issue as I’m “normal”??  So because the strips keep stalling out and then getting a tiny bit darker, and then stalling out and then a tiny bit darker-I am stuck in low and slow rising repeat beta limbo hell.

Yes I know-you are so jealous of me.

Until UOD gets on with it and finally snuffs these blasts out I am going to have to go and have my blood drawn every 48 hours because they are concerned its an ectopic pregnancy.  The only thing that will get me out of this hell is an insanely high beta of 1200-so that they can see via ultrasound where the blast has implanted or 2 betas in a row that are decreasing.  Given this current trend-I could be in this limbo hell for weeks because they won’t let me stop with the progesterone until I’ve had 2 decreasing betas, and my period won’t show up because I’m just enough pregnant to hold it off-and well since today’s pee stick is darker than yesterday-you can bet the farm on the fact that tomorrows beta will certainly be higher than yesterday so, fuck.

Oh and I have a huge headache, that has made me vomit not once but twice so far today- but dont dare take anything for it because get this hahahahaha I’m pregnant.