Holy Grail-Guarding the room scene-click here to see it-I promise you this is exactly the same exchange I am having right now with my RE/RE office/Nurses/embryologists.

Here’s the script for this scene:

FATHER: Guards! Make sure the prince doesn’t leave this room, until I come and get him.
GUARD #1: Not to leave the room even if you come and get him.
FATHER: No, no. Until I come and get him.
GUARD #1: Until you come and get him, we’re not to enter the room.
FATHER: No, no, no. You stay in the room and make sure he doesn’t leave.
GUARD #1: And you’ll come and get him.
FATHER: Right.
GUARD #1: We don’t need to do anything, apart from just stop him from entering the room.
FATHER: No, no. Leaving the room.
GUARD #1: Leaving the room, yes.
FATHER: All right?
GUARD #1: Right. Oh, if-if-if, uh, if-if-if, uh, if-if-if we…
FATHER: Yes, what is it?
GUARD #1: Oh, if-if, oh–
FATHER: Look, it’s quite simple.
GUARD #1: Uh…
FATHER: You just stay here, and make sure he doesn’t leave the room. All right?
GUARD #1: Oh, I remember. Uh, can he leave the room with us?
FATHER: N- No no no. You just keep him in here, and make sure–
GUARD #1: Oh, yes, we’ll keep him in here, obviously. But if he had to leave and we were with him–
FATHER: No, no, just keep him in here–
GUARD #1: Until you, or anyone else,–
FATHER: No, not anyone else, just me–
GUARD #1: Just you.
FATHER: Get back.
GUARD #1: Get back.
FATHER: Right?
GUARD #1: Right, we’ll stay here until you get back.
FATHER: And, uh, make sure he doesn’t leave.
GUARD #1: What?
FATHER: Make sure he doesn’t leave.
GUARD #1: The Prince?
FATHER: Yes, make sure he doesn’t leave.
GUARD #1: Oh, yes, of course. I thought you meant him (pointing at guard #2). Y’know, it seemed a bit daft, me havin’ to guard him when he’s a guard.
FATHER: Is that clear?
GUARD #1: Oh, quite clear, no problems.
FATHER: Right.
[starts to leave]
Where are you going?
GUARD #1: We’re coming with you.
FATHER: No no, I want you to stay here and make sure he doesn’t leave.
GUARD #1: Oh, I see. Right.

And here’s where this is applicable…

Me: Dr G, we are only interested in a day 5 transfer.
Dr G: Day 3 is just as successful, there is no empirical evidence that day 5 helps improve odds.
Me: We aren’t interested in a Day 3 transfer. As a matter of fact we don’t want to do a day 3 transfer at all. Only day 5.
Dr. G: Right ok, well on day 3 we’ll look at the embryos and see if you have enough to go out to day 5.
Me: You can look all you want on day 3, however, we don’t care how many there are on Day 3 because we only want a day 5 transfer.
Dr. G: Ok but there might not be any embryos to transfer on day5.
Me: We’re fine with that, we would prefer to have none than to transfer 2 crappy ones on day 3 then pay 3K to freeze a couple others when we couldn’t do PGD testing on them.  To us this is pointless.  We are day 5 or bust.

1 week later
Embryologist: You have 9 eggs, if you don’t have 8 fertilized eggs tomorrow on day 1 you won’t qualify for a day 5 transfer.
Me: I don’t care how many fertilized eggs I have tomorrow, we want to do a day 5 transfer. Only day5. No day 2. No day 3.
Embryologist. On day 3 we will look at the embryos and if you don’t have 4 perfect 8 celled embryos you will not be allowed to go out to day 5.
Me: I don’t care if we only have 1 embryo when you look-we want to grow it out to day 5. We aren’t interested in a day 3 transfer.
Embryologist: You see on day 3 the embryos are good and strong because they rely on your dna to help them up until that point, after day 3 they have to use their own genetics and this is where we lose many because it is harder for them.
Me: EXACTLY. I don’t have any interest in transferring back the strongest of my embryos on day3, I want the 1 strongest blast that is working on its own on day5.
Embryologist: You have to meet the criteria.
Me: We are only doing day 5 transfer.
Embryologist: We’ll call you on day 2 with transfer time.
Me: Go ahead but you won’t have my uterus to transfer them to so you had better plan on growing them out and ill see you saturday.

Email from nurse yesterday: You have 7 fertilized eggs. Is your plan still to do a day 5 transfer.
Me: Yes in deed. We are only interested in a day 5 transfer-no day 3. Only 5.
Nurse: Ok, I will pass that info along to the team.

Voice Mail from Hospital today: We have you scheduled for 2:45pm tomorrow for your day 3 transfer.

Voice Mail left on my nurses line: C we seem to have a massive break down in communication here. I am currently scheduled for a day3 transfer tomorrow. I will not be there for any such thing. Please call me back immediately.