…but it can buy you a gestational carrier with endless attempts to make you a healthy take home baby, and well-that’s kinda the same thing now isn’t it?

This PGS and day 5 transfer business had better work because I picked up the information for the Gestational Carrier program and we don’t have $16,350 to begin to make a move on our back up plan if this fails.

That’s more than I paid for my car.

That’s slightly more than what we just took out of the baby fund-which is now empty after paying out of pocket for all of our diagnostic tests in june and installing a new roof on our home last month-out of necessity as it was raining inside our house.

And that fee-it only covers enrolling a gestational carrier into the program, managing her care while in the program and 1 embryo transfer (not any of the blood tests she or her husband will need, attorney fees to draw up a contract, mandatory counseling fees for no less than 6 sessions, supplemental insurance in case the GC ends up in the emergency room due to some freak mishap during transfer, medication costs to prep her for the transfer and paying her for work she misses to do all of this for us).  It could easily be $22K by the time everything is factored in.

And that’s only for 1 transfer with a 45% chance of pregnancy and no guarantee that it will end with a healthy baby.

Fuck me running.

What infertile person who has spent money hand over fist on fertility treatments and surgeries for bad pregnancies has 20K just kicking around??

What, do I just walk into a bank and ask for loan that is comparable to a new auto loan and explain to them its a solid investment as there is only a 55% chance of this woman *literally* flushing the 20K down the toilet at the end of her cycle??

Yes, trust me, I completely understand this is cheaper than adopting.

Yes, trust me, I completely understand this is cheaper than donor eggs.

Yes, trust me, I completely understand that this is better than being childless.

But seriously, when potentially your only option of bring home a baby is fiscally unattainable for 4 years (2-3 if I stop all fertility treatments, and never go on a real vacation while we save up, and pray that nothing else bad happens to our house of doom in the mean time)-it doesn’t give me the feeling of comfort I had hoped.

A lot could happen in that amount of time-especially to our potential GC.


Just ugh.