Being that I am a damaged woman, who doesn’t take no for an answer I decided last May to schedule a consultation with another Reproductive Endocrinologist to get his opinion on #1 what the F is wrong with us, #2 what he would plan to do with me and #3 to see if the grass is actually greener some where else before packing up my tent and transferring clinics.

There are really only 2 big IVF facilities in Boston, the one that I am at (which has told me there is nothing wrong with me, and there is nothing they can do to help me stay pregnant other than keep doing IVF and hope one works before we run out of money) and one which has lousy statistics and lots of RE’s with really bad reviews from patients.

The only other option aside from those two places was a clinic that is based just north of Boston headed up by an RE who actually directed and developed the IVF practice I am at now, but then left 17 years ago when he found that the board of the hospital wouldn’t let him do what he thought was best.  Incidentally this same guy actually hired my current R.E.-Dr.G onto his staff when he was the director.  He refers to her as “Lizzie” not Dr so and so, or even Elizabeth which  of course cracks me the fuck up.

Let’s see if I can sum up what this egomaniac said…

-I currently have a 90% statistical chance of divorce due to our history of multiple losses, a forced mid pregnancy termination and subsequent years of fertility treatment stress.

-Using the BMI calculator he believes I am at least 35 pounds over weight, and that I need to drop no less than 20 pounds before he will agree to treat me-he would prefer 40.

-I do NOT have an issue with clotting or immune system, my uterus is not a pouch of death.

-“Lizzie” should take the daily dose of baby aspirin she added to my regimen, not me as she could would benefit far more from low dose aspirin therapy than I could because she’s over 50.

-I make lots of babies that are chromosomally abnormal (he claims 90% of miscarriages are due to embryos with abnormal numbers of chromosomes) which is why I have had so many early pregnancy losses.

-Before we spend any money on testing a potential Gestational Carrier to carry OUR embryos we should do an IVF cycle where we take all of our embryos (all of them that survive to day 3 after harvesting them that is) and test each one of them using a very expensive technique not covered by insurance called PGS (click here to see what that entails) and see how many of the total number tested actual have the right number of chromosomes.  Then transfer back to me on day5 post retrieval 2 of the normal chromosome blastocytes.

-He will be absolutely shocked if we have even 1 chromosomally normal embryo in an IVF cycle that he retrieves 20 mature eggs from me.

-If we were to have no chromosomally normal embryos found on the IVF cycle-we would save much money and certain heartbreak that would be wasted on transferring our embryos to a gestational carrier that are certain to end in miscarriage or pregnancy termination due to inevitable birth defects.

-His suggestion if we have no normal embryos would be to “stop this nonsense” and look into donor eggs or adoption in order to have children as our current path to becoming parents with our own genetic “junk” is close to impossible, and fraught with nothing but more miscarriages and pregnancy terminations which he concluded will land us childless, broken and in divorce court.

So I think that’s about all of the bullet points.