– the Big ‘O’ no longer refers to orgasm, but instead to ovulation.

– every twinge is a potential sign: ovulation pain OR perhaps implantation.

– it no longer strikes you as the least bit odd to check out at the pharmacy with both HPTs and tampons in your cart.

– you schedule your social events around your ovulation day.

– if your OPK comes up +, you cancel all social engagements that night so you can BD & lie with your legs elevated and butt up in the air afterwards.

– you talk using mysterious acronymns that only your ttc buddies understand: ttc, BD, ewcm, bbt, opk, 2ww, BFN.

– you refuse to finish decorating that 3rd bedroom in your house, because you can’t stand the thought of getting it just the way you want it when there is a small chance that you will have to tear it apart next month in order to make room for the nursery you’ll be needing.

– you put off buying any fall/winter clothes or spring/summer clothes, because you hope that when the season changes they won’t fit by then.

-all clothes you currently buy are stretchy for 2 reasons,  #1 to accommodate the weight gain from stress eating and binge drinking cycle after cycle compounded by fertility treatment drugs and #2 so that you can wear it next year when you are *hopefully* pregnant.

– your doctor says, “Now take these home and inject this needle into your stomach every day” and you don’t even flinch.

– you spend more on OPKs, HPTs, and fertility supplements than you do on clothes.

– you make a mental note of what day of your cycle it is before you say “ok” to a drink.

– you get sick but make sure you can take the medicine in case you are pregnant.

– you become a pack rat of sticks you’ve peed on (for future reference of course) or a certified trash picker (sometimes you will even pick the same stick out of the trash on multiple occasions) in order to keep looking at an old test you’ve taken to see if you have willed *something* to change since you last saw it.

-you spend more money each year on fertility treatments than you do on vacations.

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