Yeah,yeah, I know-“it only takes just one egg good to make a baby”-trust me, I know this.  And telling me this doesn’t increase my chances of believing it.  I have yet to produce one good egg (and no less than 3 shitty unhealthy, heart breaking ones) to make  a healthy baby, and sometimes I have even made multiple eggs in a cycle or had multiple embryos transferred to my pouch of death-but no matter what those eggs still end up in the Uohdee-so we have to account for that.  While one egg may eventually turn out to be a healthy baby in most women-chances are pretty damn high each cycle with only 1 egg that I am not pregnant-and that’s my reality.

Seeing that we fell far short of the original 3-5 follicles for this IUI cycle by only producing 1 egg, I am spending this 2 week wait (that will end Sunday the 24th) mentally preparing myself for the big, sticky, shit tasting, IVF pill that I have at least an 85% chance of having to swallow.

If someone told me I had an 85% chance of winning the lottery in 2 weeks, you bet your ass I would buy a shit ton of tickets and spend the next 2 weeks planning on what I am going to do with my winnings-so this is essentially no different.

Pessimistic you say?  I don’t think so, nor does Mr. Halpern … “No, I’m not a pessimist. At some point the world shits on everybody. Pretending it ain’t shit makes you an idiot, not an optimist.”

I am also bracing for impact as well because I have agreed to take progesterone during this 2 week wait, which makes me feel like I am pregnant even though I’m not, hormonally raging, extremely hungry and once I stop taking the progesterone (because most likely I won’t be  pregnant in 14 days) it sends me spiraling through the 18 levels of depressive hell-oh and the zits are just incredible too.  On the upside the day I fly out for a week vacation I will know if I am pregnant so I will at least be able to spiral through hell completely shit faced, while in 85 degree sunny weather and in the company of Christine, her husband and my husband so I couldn’t have planned to fail any better.

I have my marching orders for IVF cycle #2 which will start when my period shows up in 2 weeks…and loosely lined up looks like:

Blood work on May 18th

Lupron injections nightly May 19-May 27

Blood Work to check suppression, if ovaries are nice and suppressed

Begin nightly injections of Gonal F May 28-June 10 (possibly longer depending on follicles)

Trigger hCG shot June 11, Egg Retrieval 36 hours later, Blastocyte Transfer 5 days after retrieval.

I will continue to pray for help from the Universe, the baby jesus, (because I also like the Christmas baby Jesus the best), Oprah Winfrey and of course Tom Cruise so that he can use his witch craft to get this fire off of me.

Amen.

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