for the internet to send people to my house and collect me.


Yesterday, after an extremely painful meeting with my primary care doctor to discuss my attempted slamming of an auto closing door at my Reproductive Endocrinologists office mental state that resulted in me presenting with a full-blown case of hives, sweat, tears, snot and snot bubbles in front of her (that persisted long after the appointment because once all of the big ol faker tape had been ripped off my facade I simply couldn’t hold it together on my own whatsoever)..I became horridly aware of what a train wreck I really am.


Here, let me see if I can paint a picture for you using some online diagnostic tools very much like the ones she used on me yesterday…

Online Depression Questionnaire:

Score Interpretation
54 and up Severely Depressed
36 – 53 Moderate – Severe
22 – 35 Mild – Moderate
18 – 21 Borderline depression
10 – 17 Possibly Mildly Depressed
0 – 9 No Depression Likely

You scored a total of 59.

You appear to be suffering from severe depressive symptoms commonly associated with serious depressive disorder.  These symptoms appear to be causing you some serious impairment and distress in your normal, everyday functioning.



Online Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Questionnaire:

You answered 18 questions out of 22 Yes.

Your score is 82%. You have experienced a profound trauma and appear to be showing an alarming amount of symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder. Additionally, these symptoms are interfering significantly in your normal, daily activities.




Apparently when a woman gets pregnant after trying for 8 months only to find out that her body has produced a baby that has no brain and isn’t compatible with life, that she then has to have surgically removed from her body, and then proceeds to try insanely hard to conceive again using the most advanced forms of reproductive technology known to man for 10 more months and fails at conception-but by some miracle becomes pregnant the week before Christmas only to suffer a miscarriage on Christmas morning and then uses up her last 2 embryos during a nor’easter and has that fail too-she might have a *small* case of depression and post traumatic stress disorder that will cause her to want to hide under her bed indefinitely so as to avoid an encounter with any pregnant women or babies.

Hmmmn.  Who knew?