On Wednesday 1.12.11 in the middle of what will quite possibly be the worst blizzard we’ve had in a few years, I was scheduled for my Frozen Embryo Transfer.  The thought process with doing the FET instead of a fresh IVF cycle as my doctor had recommended, was to use what we already had so that *if* the fresh IVF cycle was a success, and we were able to FINALLY complete our family with twins-we wouldn’t be left with the insane dilemma of what to do with the 2 frozen embryos from our last IVF cycle in addition to any newly frozen embryos from the fresh cycle.

Frozen embryos are only held for 3 years, at that time you have three options-transfer them to your uterus, donate them or destroy them.  Chances are very high that a fresh IVF cycle will produce extra embryos and we will have to choose to freeze or not freeze before the retrieval actually takes place.  So if we don’t do the FET right now we would more than likely be adding to the number of frozen potential babies we would have to make the above 3 choices for. It was a no brainer to us-it was imperative that we use what we have already created and see if they would give us the miracle we are in desperate need of before creating more potential miracles.  The last thing we ever want to do if we had a house full of babies from a successful IVF cycle, would be to be forced into making the decision to expand our family to avoid destroying or donating our  potential genetic offspring.

The FET was simple, I went in, 15 minutes later we were discussing what happened to the embryos during the thaw process, and then 15 minutes later I was resting horizontally after the transfer.  To help give you a visual reference…last October we transferred these two perfect 8 celled embryos to Uohdee.  And froze 2 more that looked just like these at the time of freeze…

 

 

 

 

12 Days later we were NOT pregnant.  Those perfect looking pieces of artwork above were either not healthy or my Uterus Of Death murdered them.  We simply don’t know which was the case.  As I keep saying the doc claims they were more than likely just not healthy embryos and that it was not my uterus with scar tissue in the cervix that did them in.

You all know how I feel about this.

Now of course I am feeling less than optimistic about this cycle for 2 reasons…the first being that I am sure my cervix and uterus are responsible for the past 12 months of frustration.  The second is, even if I am unjustly blaming my uterus and cervix, if the above perfect embryos were indeed unhealthy-there is no mother loving way the 2 train wrecks of embryos that were transferred to Uohdee last week can make my dream come true.  All I can think of each morning I wake up still testing negative for pregnancy is

 

If those 2 perfect embryos above didn’t work…

 

why the hell would these???

 

 

Advertisements