12/20/10       3 weeks 4days

Dear Fiscabean,

I haven’t seen you, heard you or felt you move and yet I know that I already love you.  You have a sister (but I have a feeling you already know that) who was too fragile for this world.  I wish I had taken the time to tell her what I was thinking and how she made me feel during the 90 days I knew she was inside me.  I regret not acknowledging her, and trying to make pretend like she didn’t exist to try to ease my pain.

I will not make the same mistake with you.

I told your dad about you last night.  After a year of heartbreak and sadness, I finally saw the face again of the man I fell in love with.  Your father is a good man.  The type of man that deserves to have good karma following him every step of the way.  I hope you get to meet him so you can know what it feels like to be wrapped up safe in his bear hug.  It is the most incredible feeling in the world.

I don’t know how long you will be inside me, but know that like your sister-you will forever be within me.