I fought hard to have the hysteroscopy scheduled as soon as possible after finding out those 2 beautiful embryos didn’t implant in my uterus.  I have had the feeling since March that there was something wrong with my cervix and uterus which was caused during my loss back in January.  By the 3 failed round of IUI’s with multiple eggs I was 90% certain something was wrong, and this IVF fail made me 100% sure that something was amuck.

Because the nurse couldn’t schedule me for the hysteroscopy (a camera is sent up into the uterus to actually look for scar tissue or other issues that could be preventing implantation) for 3.5 weeks-I was put on birth control pills the day after my negative blood test.  The pills prevent your body from thickening the uterine lining and prevent ovulation so that you don’t get pregnant.  Both of which needed to be the case so that we wouldn’t kill an embryo and so that the doctor could get a good look at the walls of my uterus because they were nice and thin.

As I had mentioned in the previous post-there was nothing wrong with my uterus, the doctor did however find scar tissue in my cervix that ran the entire length and essentially split my cervix in half.  He said he *thought* it wasn’t causing any problems with implantation but it could cause the catheter they use to transfer the embryos in future IVF procedures back to the uterus to go in at a weird angle.  So without a stitch of warning, anesthetic, ibuprofen or sedative-he proceeded to rip apart all of the scar tissue with the camera while I watched the massacre on the TV screen in front of me.

If you are a woman-no need to describe the insane amount of pain, cramping and nausea this created-for you males-think about stuffing a coarse pipe cleaner in your pee hole and twisting it and jamming it in and out.  So there I was, puking in a trash can in the doctors office (yet again) wondering why the fuck can’t I get pregnant now?

What are they missing?  Too many perfect eggs with super sperm and perfectly balanced hormonal cycles to have there be nothing wrong.