Sorry for the radio silence over the past couple of days, I had attended a going away party that got a bit out of hand due to the weird gravitational pull I have for men in their 60’s and above.  After not drinking for so long if I have 1 drink I am buzzed and tired, 2 drinks I am drunk and 3 drinks and I am puking.  Somehow between 4pm and 10pm on friday I managed to drink an entire bottle of wine, 4 pints of beer and a tequila shot from the above mentioned men at the party and completely missed the voice mail on my cell phone from my doctor’s office telling me to lower my hormone injection for that night by 50% and to be at the doctors office for blood work and an ultrasound on Saturday at 7am.

Great.  Real great.

How you may ask did I find this out?  Well after injecting the full 150iu dose that should have been 75iu’s and not hearing from the doctors office I assumed I was good to go with the Sunday at 7am appointment that the nurse spoke of before I left there on friday morning.  So I proceeded to drink my face off friday night (why not, I’m not pregnant and it *could* be the last time I can drink for 9 months hahah!!hahaha!!!! how many times have I thought that?!), come home at 1am, puke my guts out then pass out after a serious bout of spins only to be rudely woken up by my cell phone ringing at 7:45am on Saturday.

As I fumbled for the phone and noticed it was my doctors office I had a horrible feeling I was a very, very, very bad fertility patient.  After confirming that feeling by picking up the 2 voice mails on my phone-1 from friday evening with my adjusted dose and new appointment and the second one scorning me for missing my appointment-I returned the phone call as I was running to my car.  After hanging up the phone I puked in my driveway, then went back in the house to brush my teeth and get a real view of the serious hot mess that I was in the mirror and decided there was no way to fix that and still get to the docs in 15 minutes.  So I threw on my baseball hat and ran out the door in pj bottoms, no undies, no socks, sneakers untied with 1 insole missing (I am sure dublin knows exactly where that is) a white see through tank top with no bra and a zip up hoodie that someone left on the coat rack to hide my rack.  The whole way there I was trying to tidy up my mop of hair that looked fabulous the night before and now somehow looked like a brier patch as I was racked with dry heaves following behind not 1 but 2 old people going no more than 23 in a 40.

The looks on the 2 nurses faces when I came bounding in was priceless.  And luckily since I looked like shit, and probably smelled even worse, they didn’t scold me for making them wait an hour.  HOWEVER they did send me to the hospital to have my blood drawn because the courier had already left the clinic an hour ago with the other very good and timely fertility patient’s blood samples to bring them to the hospital for analysis.

You think your morning can’t get any worse until you are stuck for 2 hours dying of alcohol poisoning, dehydrated and trapped in a tiny room with 6 kids (lets not forget what I am wearing by the way) and 4 adults all waiting for their blood to be taken.  Needless to say it was a process to actually find a vein for a sample and I now have this as my punishment for my indiscretions…

 

I went home and ate an english muffin and had a glass of juice and then immediately back to bed.  The phone call from the nurse that afternoon was not the best-because I hadn’t lowered my dose from the evening before (as per the phone message that I missed) my Estradiol levels are high (500 when they should be around 200) which was not in relation to the size of my follicles  (the more follicles that are mature the higher the Estradiol number is).  I was told to drop my dose to 37.5iu’s for Saturday and that I would have to come back again on Sunday morning at 7am and before she hung she said “don’t be late.”

Shame on me.

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