Today it is official, I am a fertility patient.

Not only am I a fertility patient, but I am also a fertility patient who apparently has incredible coverage through my insurance company (yyyaaayyy Cigna) and I have 100% coverage, including no copay for every fertility treatment possible under the sun!!  Say what??  Yep you heard me.  Finally some good luck.

While 2 years ago being labeled as a fertility patient would have scared the hell out of me, today as I sat in the office listening to all of the details of my upcoming appointments this month, I wept tears of joy and watched as my husband’s expression went from relief, to stoic to furrowing.  It is incredible how having a detailed (but very long and intense) plan for this current cycle and for next month makes me finally feel at ease, made my husband get stressed out.

I love it!  Better him than me!  You should have seen his face when she handed him the sample cup and was giving him the details on “how to keep it warm” and “how to catch every drop.”  Hahahahahahhahahahah.   Poor dude.  Well sort of-that is the only thing he has to do in this entire process-get all of his spunk in a cup just once.  No blood work, no pipette jammed up in his stuff, no sonograms, no x-rays, no dye shot up in his junk, no drugs to challenge his hormone levels.  Nope none of that.  As she is talking about the sensitivity given to those who are in the fertility clinic because of the trauma we’ve experienced during what should be a blissful journey-to include before work, after work and weekend appointments that are scheduled to fit YOUR availability AND when there are absolutely no pregnant women or babies in the clinic!!!

What?  Ummmmm did you just say “express lane open, no lines, no waiting, no preggos???”  HOLY JACKPOT!!!

I am sitting there grinning as all of my details are laid out in front of me (some quite horrid), and he looks like he is going to deck the lady when she hands him his spunk cup.  Ha!

1st step: Blood work tests on friday 7/16